The Unspoken Words

April 19, 2006

Letter #26

Filed under: Confused, Events, Frustrated, Reflections, Sad — The Girl @ 6:33 pm

Dear A.,

I'm finally in your state, and I was so excited! I <i>was</i> excited, because you never picked up your phone when I called you. You didn't reply my text messages either. I thought it was because your had just got your phone after months of being without one, so you're not used to checking your phone every day. When I did text you in the past, you took about a day or two to reply, so I'm hoping this is the case and you will check your phone one of these days and call me.

On the other hand, I know you had sent a bulletin to your online friends a couple of days before I left my city, saying that you're sick of all this online crap, and you said goodbye to everyone, not to be seen online again. I didn't think much of it, because I thought we were closer than that, and you had agreed to spend a lot of time with me when I arrived, so I didn't think that bulletin applied to me. Well, does it actually?

At the moment, I'm in limbo. I'm not sure if you're actually ignoring and avoiding me or if you're just not checking your phone and have forgotten about me. In the many months that we've spoken, I believe you're not the type of guy to leave a girl hanging like that. I know you have a good head on your shoulders. I know you're more of a gentleman. I know we are much closer than that. What happened to everything we've talked about for over seven months? Even though we haven't actually met in person, we do have a good history, don't we? I believed that we'ved shared something.

I'm not in denial… I'm more in disbelief. It's not like you to do this, which is why I am still so confused about this and have mixed feelings about me not being able to contact you. I am dissapointed, angry, sad, lonely, heartbroken, confused, and worried.

Out of all this, I am still trying to enjoy myself here in a new big city. I was also supposed to be here to enjoy myself and have a good break from my studies. I don't want to waste my money flying all the way here, y'know. I'm living with these two 60-year olds that are family friends but whom I've never met before, so I'm really bored. I don't want to waste my two weeks here doing nothing. I need to meet and interact with young people, and check out the nightlife. But, the only person I really want to meet isn't answering my calls and smses. It's painful.

So I guess I'm just another online friend, huh? I'm not only back to square one, I'm beyond it. It's like the past months of knowing you and spending all the late nights with you have been an entire waste. Why?

Heartbroken,
The Girl.

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